Ann, I DO in fact think that, yes. IME, most people do not respond well to the iron fist management style, nor do they respond well to "hey, there's plenty of others that want your job". It is my opinion Most people that get treated like that will give you their bare minimum. You'll get no extras. No suggestions for improvement, no comments if they see danger ahead, no benefit of their own experience. I do feel there is the occasional person out of a thousand that will respond better to that kind of management, but that doesn't mean the rest will have to suffer.

In case of this guy, I'd sit him down and point out all that's been tried (e.g. "look, we've done all we can for you, we've done this, this and that. What I feel we've gotten in return for our efforts is this crap. So from now on, we have some new rules for you, and you alone. You will no longer discuss your personal life with anyone here while you're on my clock, you will do this, that, etc to the letter. And if you feel that we can later return to a less strict work relationship in the future, we can discuss it. But not for at least 6 months"). I'd give him time in that meeting, and in that meeting alone to cry, bitch, moan, and argue. Anything after is met with a harsh reply, "there is no further discussion on this matter. You need to understand that, or I'm going to have to get rid of you."

Just my opinion. I know that being in a supervisor roll myself, it's always been a case of catching more flies with honey than vinegar mentality for me, and I've always had better results than those who disagreed. Most people are pat on back motivated.