good luck...just one more thought ...if you are married and in a real partnership in this business,,,if she isnt just helping you out on the side, you cant very well have it where one has to have the final say all the time...yes in a specific area, like bossing the workers or paying the bills, but no on the main basic business decisions...
i am in paartnership with my husband...i started the business kind of,,,and sometimes we are in limbo or some desicion is up in the air for a long time until we work it out...we are really partners and cant just boss each other around....its not like its his business and im just helping ...we have to deal with consensus just like being married....
and then there is love that trumps other things sometimes....

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THE BACKGROUND:
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Man this is a bad situation. I will echo what most are saying.

you and the wife need to sit down and define your positions in the company. You then need to set the ground rules for the company. You both need to follow the rules of the company and the positions that you except. I would suggest one of you run the ops and the other the business. Sounds like your wife should run the ops. She will learn a few things about the problems of catering to the employees, and the workers love her so although they will try and take advantage they will not do so too badly.

You run the business and look out for the business. She will need to know that things like insurance are important to the business and as such policy must be followed. You will have to leave discipline to her. So if the truck is damaged it needs to be reported, if the employee messed up she will have to take care of it. You should have a say but the end decision should be hers. If the employee continues to mess up it would be your job from the point of view of protecting the company to ask her to let him go.

Some great advice here. Definitely sort out you and your wife's roles/responsibilities first. Then develop solid systems and policies for all aspects of the business... and follow them! Lastly, if you feel that you are not getting the very best out of your employees - that they are not working optimally or taking advantage of you - you might consider changing the way you manage them. I recommend tailoring your management style to each employee. Please don't get me wrong - tailoring doesn't mean being soft. Nor does it mean that you become a different person. What I mean is finding out what makes each of your employees tick... so that you know exactly how to motivate them to bring out their best.

Defining the roles of each person in the company is a great start, which a few have stated.

Make it know through out your organization the protocol, the hiearchy of your business, and stick with the rules you set forth.